Everyone gets to experience that rush of emotions that hit at the beginning of any relationship. You just can’t get enough of each other and you spend every spare second you have together. There’s enough lust to heat an entire village and, many times, it’s like you’re the only two people on the planet. That’s just how much you notice anyone else, or don’t notice them, as the case may be.
This “honeymoon stage” can go on for up to six months, maybe a little longer if you’re lucky. Then, suddenly, things start to change. It’s not quite as important that you spend every waking moment together, and you tend to like doing things on your own. In addition, those quirky little habits that you found so endearing are now starting to get on your last nerve. So, what’s going on here?
Most likely, the relationship that you thought you had was more along the lines of infatuation than actual love. You see, when you’re truly in love with someone, that other person doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, the longer you’re with someone you love, the more in love you’ll become. Infatuation is more like being “in lust” with someone. There’s that constant physical longing for each other that will burn out eventually. As Friar Laurence stated in the famous Shakespearian play, Romeo and Juliet, “Therefore, love moderately. Long love doth so.”
That may be some of the best advice across many centuries when it comes to relationships. Get to know each other slowly and don’t rush headfirst into something that you’re just beginning. Test the waters first and see what happens. Otherwise, you could find yourself in the position of waking up one day and finding yourself not in love any longer.
On the other hand, maybe you did do everything right. You took things slowly as you got to know your partner and you didn’t rush right into a physical relationship. The passion was there, but there was also a bit of “reason” involved. The relationship wasn’t a falling meteor that burned itself out quickly. Still, you found yourself not feeling the same way anymore. So now what?
First of all, you’ll need to start asking yourself some pretty serious questions. Are you still sexually attracted to this person? Do you love spending time with them? How do you feel when you think about leaving and never seeing them again? The answers to these questions will give you a lot of information regarding how you feel about the relationship. If you’re no longer interested in having sex with this person, you prefer reading a book to being with them, and you kind of don’t really care if you’re not with them any longer, it’s time to get out. This is a dead relationship and is just waiting for the funeral.
There’s not always a reason these things happen. Sometimes you just aren’t in love anymore and it’s no one’s fault. But if it happens to you, it’s time to move on with your life and find that ever lasing love.